


Can't wake up

by Tanel



Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, I'm Sorry, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Other, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:34:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29115321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tanel/pseuds/Tanel
Summary: Again, a short little one shot.Made that about 2 weeks ago. I felt like shit.The location described in a story exists in real life and is near my home. I have been there, never fallen, never jumped, but for some reason I felt like creating this.I'm fine right now... I think.





	Can't wake up

He lied on his bed. He felt worthless, no matter how many times he was told otherwise.  
"maybe I should pretend to be okay again…"  
He hated fake emotions but when he counted the scars on his body and looked back at yesterday when he was walking around near the waterfall, nearly falling in.  
He realized he shouldn't just leave his loved ones behind.  
" they care…. So much… "  
But he didn't understand why the would care.  
After hours of thinking back at his life he stood up.  
He looked around in his room.  
He noticed his camera on the shelf, it was already covered in dust, it hadn't been picked up for a whole year.  
He went to grab it in his hands and checked if it had any battery left. Surprisingly it was completely full.  
He quickly grabbed the tripod into his other hand and ran out of his room, and out of the house.  
He didn't even bother to put on a jacket even though there was - 20 degrees outside.  
He he only took his hat and winter boots and went with it.  
Walking towards the river he tried to think of all the reasons why he should or shouldn't do it.  
"they care",kept ecoin in his mind over and over again.  
"did you eat today?"  
"I brought you some warm soup"  
"where did you hurt your hand like that?"  
"take this vitamin, it’s good for you"  
They care. No doubt.  
He knew they do, .. "why… Why on earth would I do that??.."  
He thought to himself.  
After a little while of walking he reach to the river, to the weir.  
He put down the camera and turned it on.  
He wished he could just take some pictures, but he couldn't bring himself to set camera settings properly.  
"you aren't even a photographer.. How could you even think so highly of yourself…"  
"you failed"  
"the ones who don't live in the right way, don't deserve to live."  
These were the thoughts that forced him to take a step forward.  
He stood onto the unstable platform.  
His body was shaking, looking down into the river, his legs went weak.  
"it wouldn't carry me… It Wouldn't…"  
He looked to the horizon line where there were stars and sat down, his hands were grabbed tightly to the platform walls.  
His mind went fuzzy and his thoughts went foggy, he didn't even think of why he was there, he took a step forward and just looked at the beautiful galaxy above him but suddenly as he did so the floor of the platform gave out and he fell, he was able to grab onto the edge, two metal poles on the ground broke and fell into the raging water underneath.  
Now he felt fear creeping into his bones.  
He tried to pull himself up, but he was too cold, his hands hurt, no matter how he tried, he couldn't pull himself back up.  
So he just hung there, watching the deadly water underneath.  
Minutes passed, it felt like hours, he held on tightly, but his hands started to become numb with cold, he felt his grip slipping loose. He didn't feel his hands.  
The cold metal in his fist almost paralyzed his fingers.  
He made a last attempt to pull himself back up, then a slip.  
There was a second he felt his body in mid-air.  
Before he hit the water and the hard surface underneath.  
The water falling from the weir came crushing down on him with excruciating force, he couldn't hold his breath, it felt like water had forcefully made its way into his airways. He went into shock and froze.  
Soon he passed out and he was carried away to the river.


End file.
